10 LIFESAVERS FOR EVERY COUPLE

1. They experience ongoing conflict without resolution.
No relationship can bear the weight of unresolved conflict. This “baggage”
wears you down, even if you’re able to ignore it on a day-to-day basis.
Couples need the skills to talk about tough issues and to resolve them.
2. They become insensitive and demanding of each other.
With respect dissolved, couples in crisis begin to treat each other badly.
Sarcastic and biting, their language is far short of edifying and
encouraging, further eroding marital integrity.
3. The relationship is filled with criticism and derogatory comments.
They begin to feel contempt for their mate, which erodes the love they once
felt. The criticism becomes pervasive as the couple “forgets” the positives
that attracted them to their mate.
4. They find more excuses to spend time away from each other.
Feeling anger and resentment, couples find reasons to spend time apart. They
get involved in other friendships or activities, instead of spending time
together.
5. They feel uncomfortable sharing intimate feelings with each other.
Finding their mate critical and insensitive, they begin withholding intimate
feelings and details of their daily life. They fail to provide a “safe place
for feelings to land.” This creates further distance.
6. They experience less and less physical intimacy.
Since intimacy is “into me see”, and this is seen as dangerous, the gulf
widens. Couples move apart physically, even to the point of sleeping in
separate bedrooms.
7. They compare their mate unfavorably to others.
The grass begins to look greener on the other side of the street.
Tragically, some begin flirtatious relationships and even affairs as a way
to cope with their pain. Others begin to look better than what they have at
home.
8. They make threats about separation and divorce.
As the pain increases, many begin to make plans, if only in their minds, to
leave their mate. They fantasize what it would be like to live alone.
If you find yourself with any of these warning signs, take action. Things
will never get better on their own. Time alone will not heal your marriage.
Stop telling yourself you should be able to fix things; you can’t. Denial
(Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying!) won’t help you. You must be honest about the
condition of your marriage and take appropriate measures to heal your
relationship. Don’t let pride stop you from seeking professional help. Get a
fresh, objective perspective as to what is wrong and learn the steps
necessary to save your marriage.
You can save your marriage, but not on your own. You need God’s wisdom:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your
ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)
Get help now!